change

well I learnt to live with longing
that stale ache of desire

I went to the sea
to the sea each morning
I dug my toes in the sand
threw my arms wide
and called for grace
to soften the bitterness that had hardened my heart

I asked for patience
for myself
for those I loved with such fierceness

I tried so hard
I walked such a long way
with such heaviness on my back

and I shouldered it all
because I would sooner
set myself on fire
than let anyone down

because I am so strong
and so selfless

I celebrated it
I took a deep breath
steadied my stride
and I asked for more

more love,
more sadness
more life

But I am so tired
and I dont want a heavy soul anymore

autumn 8

autumn is for patchwork calico skirts
for heavy bones and sonnets
for rusty red and mossy green wool
and for blistered banjo hands

autumn is for a hardened heart

Iris

The western wind’s iridescent wife

He blows through my many coloured glory

We mount the sky with rage and strife

Our liquid love: a messy trajectory

Passion resounds in our quivering bones

Volatile lovers, we bring the storm

We lie tangled upon horizon’s throne

Through maddening love’s chaos, beauty is born

Autumn 7

autumn
is strange
and quiet
autumn is for floral shirts
and for feeling like
a dirty bird

Autumn 6

autumn is for hats
and the clean smell of shampoo

for sitting by the window
with top knots and rosy cheeks
as the sun melts and the night gathers

Harpies

For my birds of a feather

And so we lived and loved

As brazen harpies

Mad on salt water

In a bed by the sea

We were blemished, blissful

And absurdly free

Rambling poetic nonsense

As the sun melted into the sky

We don’t need your fickle beauty

We weave seaweed through our hair

And paint our faces with mud

A gnashing of teeth

A rustle of feathers

We delight in discord

By the gathering gold of the day

We clamber over mangrove roots

Thick, tangled and bulbous

Collecting shells and urchins

Like seagulls we scavenge

For the curious and the beautiful

But when the night turns raven black

We dance

In a whirl of dervish glee

Bare breasted and full bellied

Making mockery of the usual

Oh my Aello, my raging storm

You quite intoxicate me

With your resplendence, strange

And your convulsions, most peculiar

I seek the satiation of your caprices

We are chimeral creatures of chaos

Fearsomely beautiful

Beloved of the velvet sea

Wild women

We are wild women

Hot blooded, winged and limber

We pound the damp soil with our fists like drums

And sing out our pleasures to the night

We delight

In the strange shapes we make with our bodies

Unclothing each other

And laughing, shrieking to the open sky

A heightening of desires most base

An unhindered pursuit

Of our wicked yearnings

Spread your feathered limbs

Distort your face

Tilt your head back

And howl

As the stars burn bearing rapturous witness

To our sacred ritual

Of amorous theft

There is dirt under our nails

And teeth marks on our skin

And we are breathless with life

Io

Part One

When I was a girl

With skin white as milk

I would walk through vast and palatial halls

My head bowed in silent reverence

Alone in Acropolis

When I was a young woman

I offered counsel to Queens

‘Io’, they called me

Humble and beloved

The Virgin Priestess

One day I saw a man

More powerful than any I’d ever laid eyes upon

He was whispered to be a great King of the sky

And the marble floor cracked beneath his feet where he walked

He had thick dark curls that hung loose around his shoulders

A tangled beard and wild looks

And eyes that burnt into me

Waking a storm in my heart

He came to me in my dreams

Visions of golden fields

Growing rampant and procreant

Of limbs and moans

And the wild, fierce eyes of Jupiter

Part Two

The day I lost my innocence

I was walking through the laced and golden fields of Lerna

And he appeared before me

Surging with desire

I thought to evade him

But his gaze made my limbs heavy

It surprised me how gentle his touch was

How quickly my body turned to butter beneath his mouth

And I forgot all reason for resistance

He stretched his arms wide

And summoned the clouds

Dark and pendulous

To cloak us from watching eyes

To hide our tryst from the world

From the crags of Mount Olympus

Hera, Queen of cunning

Sees the skies gather with thick grey matter above that golden meadow

Suspicion aroused

She descends her watch tower

Jupiter, clutching at me

In the height of his pleasure

Whispers furiously and casts me to the ground

‘mutatio bovum’

I fall to my hands and knees

The incantation still ringing in my ears

As a sharp pain splits my head

I arch my back

And I groan, deep and guttural from my throat

My breasts and belly convulse and sag

My fingers itch and I look down to see

My horror

Cloven hoofs upon the dusty ground

Hera chases the clouds

They scatter at her hand

The barley withers and blackens at her touch

Fruit smokes and falls from branches

A fatal ripening

Smearing the soil with flesh coloured pulp

‘What’s this?’

Her voice mordacious

But sweet as red wine

It cloys at my ears

And I feel dizzy from my transformation

‘what a beautiful bovine

A gift to be bestowed upon your faithful wife?

I have such a thirst for milk

Would you deny me, husband, what I desire?’

Part Three

When I was a beast

I walked the land without rest

One thousand eyes watch me

One thousand gadflies sting me

And all are sentry

With the patience of the ages

Jupiter for my womb

Hera for my life

Wandering drives me nearly to madness

But as I stagger through Bosporus

The earth shapes itself around me

To guide my passing

I come upon a man

Bound in invisible tethers to the side of Mount Caucasus

With an eagle feasting from his viscera

His face twisted in agony, he calls out to me

‘Mother of Dynasties

You shall come to rest in Egypt,

And there you will return to woman form

And the fruit of your womb

Will release my chains’

Part Four

I find myself in a land of new gods

And strangely shaped temples

And there my wanderings finally cease

As I fall beside the Nile

Horns and hoofs retreating

My woman form returns

The day I became a Mother

I lay mired on that riverbank

Mud swells around my hips

And streaks across my distended belly

Milk leaks from my heavy breasts

And courses down my brindled body

The Nile rages

And I cry out in agony

for the child charging from my womb

the fluid of my fertility runs thick and fast around me

and courses through the mud

Unto me a babe is born

Precious child mud, river and earth

I clutch at him with all my remaining strength

And he feverishly drinks my life’s milk

The tide rises

And the sun bakes the mud to our skin

I name him Epaphus

For my skin still trembles from the touch of his conception

Part Five

When I was an old woman

They named me Isis

Mother of Dynasties

Each day my son grows stronger

They say he will rule Egypt

A great horned King

And son of his sons

Will free those who are eternally bound

But I have withered

My womb still aches

My skin is stained

Daubed and couple coloured

I lose my words

And moan from my throat

My legs buckle beneath me

And my hands grip the earth

Sometimes in my dreams I walk those halls

I see the ground crack beneath Jupiter’s holy feet

I still see that golden field

Blistering and smoking

I feel the grain pressed hard against my skin

I smell those cloying fruits

And feel his touch curdle me like butter

But I am a wise and weary woman

The child I once was burns in the sky

Beside her first love and his wild, fierce eyes

And my great, great granddaughters

Will return to that city Argos

And will walk the fields of Lerna freely