Joshie #4

Joshie teaches me about silences
whole and full and rich

his quite comfortable presence
his eyes, his eyes, his eyes

Joshie gives to me
silences
so full between us
that they fill me.

when he looks at me we create a space together around us
and for those moments it is just us
just his eyes
just the smile that creeps out the corners of my mouth
lights up my face and makes my jaw ache.

i carry that with me. the space Joshie makes for me. what he gives me.

in dark noisy bars we stand in the middle of a room
people moving around us
and we look at one another and are still
because he moves me to stillness

i wonder if people around us can see, i wonder if they know
how much is created, how much is given and shared
in that space, in that silence
in the middle of the bar.

Holding his face in my hands, so close to mine
breathing together
pressing my face against his chest, my nose against his shoulder
breathing him in
touching his wrists
Not kissing Joshie in friendship is probably as thrilling as kissing him in friendship would be.