sinusoidal

i always oscillate so dramatically from intensity to intensity.
i don't know how to live life any other way
(and i don't want to. It's my natural state of being. so i surrender to it and be in it with all of myself, in pursuit of living honestly)

life swells within me.
life swells around me.
I ebb and I flow.
and that movement, that rhythm...
its this shape that i create by living fully and honestly
and that shape stains the ether around me

its like my life is a sporadic sine curve
erratic, vertiginous, capricious

josh pyke says 'if you're freezing on your left side and you're boiling on your right side then i guess you might be warm upon the line. and there are many ways one can divide a life and i've got mine'

I let myself be.
I let myself be in it.
I let all of myself feel it and embrace it

because knowing myself intimately
is what i seek from my life
vigilent self awareness
to know each part, each colour, each subtle intricacy

walt whitman says 'welcome is every organ and attribute of me... not an inch nor a partical of an inch is vile, and none shall be less familiar than the rest'

I trust in that self awareness, as my unshakable foundation.
and I know each oscillation will pass.

it manifests in different ways.
sometimes giddy
sometimes sequestered
and often, unarticulated

But it always leaves me
dizzy and breathless