on honesty and intimacy

sometimes i worry that i intimidate people with my honesty.
But I just want to be... accessible. I think that is what honesty achieves. it removes barriers between people. it removes pretense, it removes performance. it establishes a vulnerable and free space.
but sometimes I worry that by being honest I have the opposite effect. That I distance people with my intensity, or something. It is a fear of mine.

I just... want to always seek new levels of intimacy. new ways to engage. new ways to explore. deeper ways to learn people.
to be so real, to be so honest, to be so raw.
I want to live my friendships to a certain line. I want to keep pushing that line.
I think being honest, I hope that creates an environment for people to feel very free in, to share of themselves. I don't know how else to facilitate the conversations i desire. the connections i crave.
Because that is what I want, to explore people, to learn them.
details are delicious. stories, simplicities and silliness is seductive.
i want to be free and ... strong... with my parts. with my details. i want to give people that trust. that special trust. i want to give intimacy, with mirth. mirthful intimacy. bold intimacy.
it is so joyful, it is so thrilling. to be so vulnerable with people.
i think such strength is gained from that vulnerability.
from giving so wildly. so freely.
and hopefully it will encourage reciprocation.
that is what i seek from my relationships, that is what i seek from myself, and that is what i seek from my life.

wild intimacy